you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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