she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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