he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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