I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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