I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
