But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize