Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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