We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
