I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize