i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize