at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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