I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
