It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
