if you like me you must not know who I am
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
