when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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