The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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