he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
