everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
