just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
