lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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