Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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