There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
