I wish I could teleport
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
