Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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