Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
