and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize