i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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