I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
