10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
