that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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