So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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