I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
