You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
