i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
