I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
