it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize