Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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