hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
