And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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