Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize