I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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