I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Randomize
