There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
