My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize