thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
