I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think my moral compass just broke
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize