we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
