Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
