I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
operation have a gay friend backfired
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
