The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
