So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
