I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
