You're completely useless in the revolution.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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