Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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