Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
