I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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