Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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