He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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