just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
