Little spoons don't ask big questions
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
