I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
