jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
